A Zen Take on Bipolar Disorder

Depressed... depressed... depressed... (Someone makes me laugh)... Hypomanic... hypomanic... hypomanic... manic... manic... Cue cough, anxiety, and the delusion that I'm dying of cancer... panic... panic... burnout... depressed... depressed... depressed... Haha! That's a great meme... hypomanic.... hypomanic... hypomanic...  That's a basic glimpse of my daily reality. I have Bipolar Disorder III, aka, Cyclothymia. I don't have episodes, really. I'm always rapid cycling … Continue reading A Zen Take on Bipolar Disorder

Balancing the Scales: Guanyin, Meditation, & Bipolar Disorder

Sometimes, I forget that I have bipolar disorder. Sometimes the shifts and swings are so gradual and nuanced, so smoothed out by practice that I don't even notice them. Other times, well, they're front and center. They rampage, they grip me like a vice. Monday night was great. I was up, I felt so energized … Continue reading Balancing the Scales: Guanyin, Meditation, & Bipolar Disorder

Shore Leave from Shadowland

We were in the break room. They were on break, I was already done with mine, but I was in an insubordinate mood. Her brother offered me some Jolly Ranchers. We were discussing the merits of various flavors when he said, "You can give it back if you don't like it, you won't hurt my … Continue reading Shore Leave from Shadowland

A Lineage of Suffering

I belong to a lineage of suffering. It stretches far, far back into pre-history. This lineage is defined by depression, anxiety, obsessions, delusions, and hallucinations. It's a lineage of mental illness. It's passed down through families, and actualized through experiences. I have cyclothymia, also called Bipolar Disorder III. Well, that's the diagnosis anyway and it … Continue reading A Lineage of Suffering