A New Day

It can take quite awhile for a heart to mend. I'm speaking figuratively, but it's literally true too. The Buddha told us that heartbreak is a symptom of clinging, craving, and---ultimately---ignorance of our True Nature. But that's all cold comfort when you're in the thick of it. You can't be rational with the heart. The … Continue reading A New Day

When Friends Become Strangers

It's strange that people who used to know each other so well can become total strangers. That's weird, isn't it? We spend hours and hours together, making each other laugh, drying each other's tears, sharing the burden of boredom and waiting. Finding meaning together, letting go of trivialities together. And then, well, we're not together … Continue reading When Friends Become Strangers

Dialogue with Jing Shen

"Look at it," Jing Shen said. "Don't turn away, and don't grab hold of it. Just look. What do you see?" "Jealousy," I replied, with a set jaw and creased brow. "I'm jealous of their friendship. I wish that's what we had. But, she doesn't need me." "How does that feel?" "It hurts." "Is there tension … Continue reading Dialogue with Jing Shen

A Lineage of Suffering

I belong to a lineage of suffering. It stretches far, far back into pre-history. This lineage is defined by depression, anxiety, obsessions, delusions, and hallucinations. It's a lineage of mental illness. It's passed down through families, and actualized through experiences. I have cyclothymia, also called Bipolar Disorder III. Well, that's the diagnosis anyway and it … Continue reading A Lineage of Suffering