Today's an anniversary for me. It's now been seven years since I've been in a relationship. Seven Years! Can you imagine? Am I sad? Sometimes, sure, I've endured my fair share of yearning and loneliness. I'm an eccentric loner, but I want to love and be loved just like anyone else. I often think that … Continue reading Seven Years Gone
I'm in love with the coldAnd the forgetful winter sky. Silence abounds, only warriorsRemain here. Reaching into the snow,An enso appears. In a flash of nowhereEnergy, I stomp on it and laugh at myCluelessness. Walking, the crunchingPlays rhythms of a time when woodWas heat and dinner an arrow.Eyes across the tundra field,I sing without next or … Continue reading Breaking Through Fear
peace isn't a feeling. Peace is our disposition toward feelings. The human mind is a bifurcated mess, sliced by meta-cognition. It's that meta mind that meditation and mindfulness address.
I find myself strained, Dear Reader. Lost at sea now for almost a week. The stresses of last year finally hit me after a short jog on Saturday. Elated for a moment, my dysfunctional brain interpreted the adrenaline as a fight or flight situation. And my immune system decided that my body was the threat, … Continue reading I Feel Like I’m Dying
Days gone by with mood hugging the center. Barely a thought and weeks unbroken by longing. Then she said, "You know I miss you, right? In case you were wondering." She'd never said that before. It was just a series of words at the time offered by this woman who was once the love of … Continue reading Her Words Could Tumble Mountains (Noir)
"Fuck, I'm the Charles Bukowski of Zen---minus the sexism." The back porch was warm after a half hour sit. The cats we're fostering looked at me like I was an extraterrestrial lifeform. It was a decent sit. Returning to the simple, the bare bones, has been good. Tossing aside my academic Buddhist reading and writing … Continue reading My God, I’m Turning Into Bukowski!
The only difference between me and a self-righteous asshole is that I'm just fuckin' around. The only difference between me and someone who's totally bonkers is none. I admit, I had expectations when I began practicing. I expected to become some kind of quiet, warm, easy-breezy wise man. Instead, what's been uncovered is some kind … Continue reading A Zafu, A Pile of Books, & A Cheshire Grin