Even though it can miss the mark, everything the mind does it does to help.
Even self-hatred and sorrow are there to help us achieve our goals, whatever they may be. I hated myself for a long time. I hated that I was overweight, I hated my complexion, I hated my hair, I even hated my hatred.
All that hate was my mind trying to motivate me to change my behavior. It wanted me to treat my weight, complexion etc. as adversaries to overcome, the same way I might use anger to get my body ready for a street fight.
Most of our emotions, moods, desires, fixations and thoughts are like that—the mind trying to help.
We often blame the mind for that, but really it’s really our intentions that are out of whack. If I want to be thin because that would be healthier for me than being overweight, then odds are I’m not gonna experience as much self-hatred. Wanting to thing because I want to look better, to be more attractive to myself and others, that’s where the self-hatred comes from.
What we want is usually secondary to why we want it. Intention is everything when it comes to shit like this. So we can either work at trying to stop wanting and not wanting, or we can examine our intentions and re-orientate them as needed. It’s as straightforward as 1) learning to settle the mind, and 2) asking, “Why do I want/not want this?” The mind’ll do the rest, pruning accordingly.
Why? Because our minds are always looking out for us, always trying to help us. And if the mind thinks that changing intentions would be helpful to us, then it’ll do that. It’s like a genie or a wish-fulfilling gem. All we’ve gotta do is learn how to point it in the right direction.